Nicole Elizabeth Peña

too much snoop for one day haha and i wa sonly inthe car for like 30minutes max today.
yay i wrote my schedule down wrong so that means i dont work today and work tomorrow instead. hopefully this fucking other head on my chin will go the fuck away. blarg what the fuck is up with the male gender maANN?? its like everyone acts on impulse these days, or atleast thats what it seems like. no one fucken thinks about anything. i put a lot of thought into my personal life. i try to do whats best for me at certain times. althought i fuck up again and again, I think Ive finally got a chokehold on my romantic life. well, kind of. if only the fucker had a phone hahahah..so i could have that shit on check. but maybe its a good thing. saves me from myselfyaw mean? haha

this is why i dont update often. cuz I fucking ramble.
knowing only lauren and maybe danny will read this shit. haha its cool thought.
this IS supposed to be my place to vent right. so maybe i just want attention. ugh. thats sad.
im gona stop talking now.

damn my picture is fucking old. ill update it right now LOL

mmm cafe con leche y frangelico. mmmmmm. great ending to an emotionally stressful day ahhaha. i feel like im on edge. like im gona yell and yell so loud that the bloood vessels in my eyes are gona pop and im gona have a buncha red dots in ma eyes. haaaaah. how do i know that would happen..? use your imagination. but yeah kickin it with lauren danny and johnny was pretty chill tho. and this drink is fucken relaxing.



gnite putos<3

So I finally let go of him. We are completely out of touch. It was my choice this time..it wasnt him pushing me away. Im so proud of myself haha.

So I feel good. I dont feel lonely. Well Im seeing someone right now. But in those two weeks of being completely single, I felt fine. Im not gona dwell because I dont have someone to tell me they love me. I love myself and thats all I actually NEED. People say that NEED that one person. When actually you dont fucken need them, you juss want them because its comforting and you like their company. I dont think I would ever tell anyone else that I need them in my life again..shows weakness. So maybe I AM a new person. fuck yeah i am. proud of it. stronger and kickin ass. if ima fall down, im getting right back up before youve noticed I was down. Fuck being weak. fucken being a pussy. I dont need a boyfriend, I may want one. but i dont need one to live. yeah he made me into an asshole. but its benefiting me right? so maybe it wasnt a total waste of time. Id rather be an asshole than be a naive little girl. I feel completely optimistic about the future. No matter what happens, Im gona keep bein a badass haha and beat em down left and right. well, if thats how it goes. Life is too short to sit around and weep all day. Move on mothafuckas! mkay im done bein a bitch.

GOOD TIMES ahead I can already see it :D

so its been a while huh. things have been pretty weird, im recovering well though. Trying to get used to being single. Next week I might go to some gay club, i hear its popular so it should be interesting. I'm really nervous about my acceptance to calstate sanbernie. ugh, i really wana go there! i dont want to have to transfer from chaffey, i just wana start already! I cannot wait to graduate highschool oh my goodness! so exciting! yaayy Im gettin my license and car soon! woot woot! and i might get a job at cvs with shana! things are finally falling into place :) I look forward to the future :D!!

back in black niggaaa
yeah its 8:17 on Wednesday and I skipped first period to have more leisure time
this morning :) doodoodoo
i need to get out. This weekend should be bangin! haha
thursday arlines movie night
friday justines party
saturday ska/metal show :D

all close by. hope it all works out!
sounds like lots of fun!

I been feeling really dizzy lately. especially when i first get up.
its happening a lot more often now :/ eeh probably nothin.

WELP im off to school! :) woohooo

hahah i had strep throat this past weekend
HAHA GOOD TIMES! yeah right that shit was fucked up man!
yay i have a mintmasque on right now. it feels so refreshing.
I cant move my mouth though.I had a dream that I was having
a sleepover with some friends and i went into the hallway and
three ghosts trampled me and wouldnt let me get up. I ran back to
the bedroom and told my friends what happened and they said not
to worry, just go back to bed. so i did but then i realized I had
no pillow so i went down the hall to the livingroom to get one and
i started walking back when a ghost tried to take my pillow away
so i punched him and he fell straight to the ground like a statue.

I knew this dream had to mean SOMETHING so i looked it up and this
is what i got..
In general, ghosts symbolizes aspects of yourself that you fear. This may involve a painful memory, guilt, or some repressed thoughts. You may be afraid of death and dying. Alternatively, ghosts are representative of something that is no longer obtainable or within reach. It indicates a feeling of disconnection from life and society. This dream may be a calling for you to move on and abandon your outdated modes of thinking and behavior.

That one seemed the most reasonable but im not quite sure what it means in my life right now. I gota re-think it.

I just got some cds that i ordered. the 2 matisyahu cds, daddy yankee, and chamillionaire :DIm happyhappy ive been waiting for em for a while. Ive
realized matisyahu's music is my healing music. It makes me feel so incredibly wonderful. arrgghhh I love it. Especially right now in my life I need him most, and hes never failed to cheer me up. GIve me hope ya know? Im gona meet him and see him live one day. Hopefully soon. Im gona make that a goal of mine next year haha

aaahh rambleramble ::;::::;;

PAZ AFUERA<3